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 Okami (Senjutsu Clan)

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Okami
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Ryo : 4865

PostSubject: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Sun Jan 03, 2016 3:48 am

Clan Name: Okami
Location: Unknown, Morigakure
History: The Okami clan of sages is rife with battle, bringing Hell upon those who oppose them. The Great Wolves of the Forest reside on a hidden island outside Morigakure, and to find them is a dangerous task. To gain an audience with one of the wolves, one must bring two pelts and a Pact Fang, a necklace made out of the tooth of a wolf pre-signed in their own blood. Those who fail their Senjutsu training are fed to the pack, but those who succeed are granted power beyond imagining.
Description of clan ability: Wolves are powerful animals, worshiped in some areas of the world for their strength, speed, and skill at hunting. During Sage Mode, the user can tap into this prowess, boosting their Strength, Speed, and Perception by +1 rank at Acolyte, +2 ranks at Sage, both Acolyte and Sage maxing out at SS-3, and SSS-1 at Master Rank. Whether outside or in in Sage Mode, members of this clan attain peerless skill, granting them a bonus to Ninjutsu.
Drawbacks: Sage Mode can be used indefinitely, with the drawback of having to cooldown and recuperate for every post used. During the cooldown period, the user's skills and stats are decreased to B rank.
Jutsu:

Name: Sage Art: Crossed Fangs
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: S
Type: Offensive
Element: N/A
Range: All Ranges
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: 2 Posts
Cooldown: Duration + 5
Description: By channeling Sage Chakra into a clawed hand, the user can form a wolf skull around their fist out of raw Nature Energy, lancing forward and piercing their opponent. The Sage can also close the jaws of the skull by forming a fist, giving them the ability to "bite" their target. The wolf skull then explodes outward in a cone, engulfing the opponent in a blast that strikes with the force of the user's Strength stat. This typically ends with broken bones and massive hemorrhaging, as the ability will blow holes clean through the target.

Name: Summon: Fell
Canon/Custom: Custom
Rank: SS
Type: All Types
Element: N/A
Range: All Ranges
Specialty: Ninjutsu
Duration: 10 Posts
Cooldown: 20 Posts
Description:

Fell is a pure white dire wolf who can be summoned by any Wolf Sage. His stats are all maxed at SS-3, and he is massive at 35 feet tall and 75 feet long. He is the alpha of alphas, the king of wolves. He personally oversees the training of all of his Sages, and selects those he deems worthy to become Senjutsu Masters. He can use all Ninjutsu not associated with a specific release, and can use Taijutsu techniques up to S-Rank. Any Ninjutsu he uses is considered a Sage Art jutsu.


Last edited by Okami on Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:02 pm; edited 5 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Sun Jan 03, 2016 10:59 am

Okay, first thing is first: this is reading damn near word for word to Avery's clan the Itachi. You need to provide me proof where she allowed you to basically take her idea and run with it.

Secondly: Im not understanding how a wolf based senjutsu clan gives you a boost to Kenjutsu. Taijutsu I could understand? Kenjutsu, not so much. Please explain this.

Same thing with your Summon: it's written exactly how the Weasel Kama is written minus the description of the wolf. You need permission to take other peoples ideas.

Lastly; just a reminder - you'll have to be Special Jounin or higher to learn this clan on your own.
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Okami
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Sun Jan 03, 2016 11:11 am

Sorry if it seemed similar. I only copied the drawback and stat bits, so I edited that to be generalized. It was all written off the top of my head o.o

Also, I put in a slight explanation as to why a Wolf-based Senjutsu Clan boosts Kenjutsu. The teeth on a wolf slash and pierce like swords, giving the earliest sages the idea to use them as such.

Lastly, I understand that I won't be able to train this until I get Spec. Jounin, much to my chagrin. It might be a week, it might be a month, but I'll get there XD
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Wed Jan 13, 2016 2:21 pm

Bump for completion? I can finally train this, so I want to make sure it's okay that I do.
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Wed Jan 13, 2016 5:04 pm

A few things still need to be touched on.

1. This clan cannot give you a Kenjutsu boost. All of the staff are in agreement that no matter how it's spun dealing with weapons being forged from the bones of this clan Kenjutsu does not make sense. Taijutsu, yes, but Kenjutsu no. You can still get the free sword, that is fine, however you're not going to be able to get the boost to Kenjutsu.

2. You need to describe what kind of boost your stats get at Acolyte and Sage stages (there are 3 teirs to Senjutsu: Acolyte, Sage, an Master).

3. As far as your sword goes if you're making this what your clan's contract is through then you need to note on it that if your sword is taken from you then you cannot access clan summons/jutsu. I'd also like to note that if you're locking this contract to the sword then only those with Kenjutsu of A rank can even think to weild the blade and have the contract (this means they will need B-3 or higher strength on par with the rules that are being written up dealing with strength and weaponry). I'm also not okay with allowing this blade to be repaired with only 20 chakra, especially if its completely shattered. Up the chakra cost dramatically, or remove this portion entirely.

4. Your summon is still written basically word for word as Avery's, so I still need you to show me proof that she said this was okay. All summons are written differently, so unless you have her permission you're going to have to change yours.

Finally, this isn't so much an issue with the clan as it is a heads-up: You'll need a total of 16,000 words to get your Senjutsu to Acolye, an additional 3,000 to get your Senjutsu to Sage, and an additional 5,000 words to get your Senjutsu to Mastery. Just like with Dojutsu you cannot take words from other threads that have nothing to do with Senjutsu training to use.
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Okami
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Wed Jan 13, 2016 6:08 pm

Okay, fair enough. I rewrote the summoning jutsu, plus I removed the entire Kenjutsu bit. Honestly, I didn't copy Avery's, but if it looked like it then I apologize.

I understand what I'm getting into, here, but thanks for the heads up!
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Wed Jan 13, 2016 7:52 pm

Okay, I'm going to try and explain the issue here because it seems like we're on two separate pages. You're claiming you didn't take Avery's idea, that it's your own, but your summon reads word for word and does exactly what hers does. Hers is mutli-ranked D-SS, hers says Duration +2, the power of her summon is based on the amount of chakra/rank summoned, and they get tier 3 stats of that rank. This is the issue. This is what needs to be removed. Every summon is different, and everyone is expected to come up with their own thing. I just spoke to Avery in the chatbox and she is quite brassed off, and unwilling to share/give you permission to use that ^. So, you'll have to come up with something different. Remove the multi rank, remove the Tier 3 of same rank stuff, ect. If you need clarification of what all I mean here is the Itachi Clan you can take a look for yourself.
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Wed Jan 13, 2016 9:27 pm

Sorry about the confusion. Completely redid the jutsu this time. Tbh, I thought that it was kind of standard to have it like it was. I am so sorry for the mix-up! *sweat drops*
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Fri Jan 15, 2016 2:59 pm

Okay, my only issue is the automatic S-3 at Acolyte, SS-3 at Sage. Change that to a boost of +1 Rank each at Acolyte, and +2 Rank each at Sage and you're golden. Just note that unless you have Mastery you cannot go past SS-3 with boosts.
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Okami
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:00 pm

Done!
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PostSubject: Re: Okami (Senjutsu Clan)   Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:04 pm

APPROVED
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